Home

Advertisement

Customize
  Journal   Friends   Calendar   User Info   Memories
 

citizennumber3's Journal

27th September, 2007. 2:23 am.

So, I just did the bitchiest thing I think I've ever done in my life. But I'm also very pissed off at the person I was bitchy to. So, I'm a little conflicted in how I feel.

Okay. It all starts when my roommate brings some random guy over to our room unannounced. I was like, "Okay. That's not cool. I'm in my frumpy sweatshirt, in bed, watching TV and getting read for bed." So they're cuddling on her bed and talking, and I can't hear the TV. So I go to the lounge and call my parents to chat. After a half hour of talking to my family, I go back to the room. The guy's still in there. I dropped a major hint: "I've got some intense reading to do for class...would you guys mind going to the lounge, maybe? Please?" And the guy was all, "But it's so comfortable here, in bed" and Jess was finally like, "Well...uh...sure...." and they left. And I figured that'd be the end of that. So I get into my pjs and hop into bed and start my reading. About a half hour later, they're back. They get back into her bed. And, I'm lying on my side in my own bed, facing her bed...and all of a sudden...they're making out in her bed. Right the fuck in front of me. And I'm like, "Okay. Definitely not cool." I get up, slam the door behind me as I leave for the lounge to read. I wind up spending most of the night with a few girls down the hall--upperclassmen who are really nice, but also known for being a bit tipsy...and, er, one of them for being a bit on the promiscous side. But they're all incredibly sweet and nice to me, especially considering I'm (basically) a total stranger.

Anyway, a couple hours go by. Jessica (not my roommate--a sophomore who I was visiting with) texts my roommate. Jess my roommate texts back that "We're only cuddling; it's safe to come back." When it should be painfully obvious I just want him to leave altogether. So I finally get up the guts to call her myself and talk it all out...but she doesn't answer her phone. So, after another half hour of debating internally what I should do, I joke that it would be funny if the posse I was staying with and I headed back to my room and hung out there. So...long story short...we do. We were playing "Apples to Apples" and playing some "Avenue Q" and Tori Amos in the background. The posse was making a LOT of noise but, after 20 minutes, my roommate and her guy friend STILL didn't respond to any of it. Finally, I think my Tori Amos music did it. My roommate sat up and was all, "If you're trying to wake me up...you suceeded."

I took her into the hallway and explained that I was upset she'd had the guy over; that if she could bring guests over uninvited, I could too. I apologized for being so immature and waking her up; but she should've asked me about the guy first. She responded with a very fake, "Okay, yeah, sure," general response. I went into the bathroom to give them some privacy. When I came back out, they were both gone, and the girls from the posse were back in the room, asking me waht had happened.

40 minutes later, my roommate is still gone. It's pretty safe to assume she's still spending the night with that guy.

I don't know how to feel. What I did was incredibly immature and disrespectful. Yet, at the same time, what she did was incredibly immature and disrespectful too. But 2 wrongs don't make a right. You see the rut I'm in? I feel awful for acting so childishly. But, again, I'm so incredibly pissed at her. Do you know how fucking awkward it is when you're, like, 3 feet away from, and at eye-level with a couple IN BED and making out?! It's just like, "Okay...this might be different if we were all friends, and you two were dating, and you'd talked to me about all this beforehand...but, god, this is too fucking awkward."

Guys, you gotta tell me. Who's in the wrong here? Is she completely to blame? The posse of girls told me, "You shouldn't have apologized. She was the one disrespecting you." But...I don't konw...I just don't know. It's 2:30 in the morning on a Thursday, and there's no one to talk to. I may have just alienated the best friend I had here at IC.

I am not going to get any sleep tonight. Which is incredibly fucking ironic.

Read 1 Note -Make Notes

9th April, 2007. 6:33 pm.

Turned in my application to MRM...but when I got there, they'd taken down the "Help Wanted" sign...UGH. Turned in application anyway. It sounded like they'll probably need to hire more people in the slightly distant future--so hope is not lost completely.

Also picked up an application at Brooks for some strange reason. I don't think that I really want to work there--but, hey, a job's a job. Amanda's leaving in about a week, and they're bound to be looking for somebody.

Looks like "Universal Language" is going to wind up being the show I direct.

Let's see...what's on the schedule for tonight?:
- Law homework
- Study for Psych. RV
- Print up fliers for the "Day of Silence"
- Maybe work out for the first time in, like, a month
- Check my e-mail like a schitzo looking for a second note from Alan

...On that note, Samuel French changed their policy to allow unsolicited script submissions, it appears...soooo...I think that'd be a better place for "Trapped" than Playscripts. I'll see what Alan thinks. I e-mailed him the script last night, he wrote back to me this morning and said he'd read it/give me feedback.

Current mood: blah.

Make Notes

8th April, 2007. 5:45 pm.

I have such mixed emotions right now. I'm so glad that everything over--the rehearsal schedule had been getting on my nerves...it felt like my entire life had been devoted to the show for the past couple of months. Especially within the last month. I've gotten so many compliments and kind words from other about this show--friends, teachers, family members, heroes, total strangers. I've gotten hugs from strangers, numerous standing ovations, awards, newspaper articles, and a mentor that wants to help me get the script published. All of that makes me happy, obviously. In this really overwhelming way--I've been having trouble processing it all. I STILL don't think it's all quite hit me yet. I don't know if it ever will--it's been WAY too much in such a small amount of time.

Even if I won, no matter what, by having my show performed at ANY festival--the cast didn't. It would've been so great for everyone to move onto New Englands, and I feel so upset that, after all of their relentless, hard work...they don't have a heck of a lot to show for it. Beyond Liz and I, I don't feel our cast got much recognition for all that they've done. That's what makes me sad.

But, meh, que sera, sera. Right?

I saw that Ron was hiring over at Middle Road Market--I think I'll get an application in there ASAP and see about getting a job. It's close enough to walk to, and I can save up some money to buy a junk car.

Paul and I talked about having me direct a spring show--along with another that he'll direct. But he's also got the jr. high show--which is why he wanted some student directing to take place to take the load off of his shoulders a little.  I think he wants to do three Christopher Durang shorts. I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to direct. I think I might do "The Universal Language" by David Ives...but I'm really craving an angsty drama with a small cast (like, 2 or 3 people) with witty dialogue and "The Wall"esque poignancy. But I'm not sure what that'd be. I'd LOVE to do "The Advertisement" but it's two acts long, and the individual dialogue can go on for PAGES...soooo...the actors would probably tar and feather me as soon as they saw how much they'd have to memorize. Besides, some of the stuff isn't exactly school appropriate. On the other end of the spectrum, there's only one thing I'd have to change in "Universal Language" if we did it--it's about this made-up language call Unamunda, and this guy speaks it to this girl, trying to teach it to her. At one point, he decides to give her a *test* and announces, "Schmall testicle!" Soooo...I don't think that'd fly. Which is a shame, because (in the context of the play) it's really funny.

"Trapped" is on channel 15 (or is it 16?) tonight, and tomorrow, and probably after that too.

Also, I'm currently writing a script that Maggie, Emma, Liz and I are going to perform at some point for the entire "Trapped" cast (maybe at the cast party or something.) It's called "Trapped...in a Chasm." And that's all I'll say.

It's nice to able to relax a little bit now. Hooray!

Current mood: accomplished.
Current music: "The Kid is Hot Tonight" -- Loverboy.

Read 2 Notes -Make Notes

5th April, 2007. 9:11 pm.

Sooo...

I can't believe this, but scholarship money is pissing me off. Here's why:

Eugene Lang, the school in NYC, is giving me about $25,000 a year in scholarships/grants (NOT including, like, $10,000 of loans and work study) and...that sort of sucks. I can't believe I'm saying that. But it does--because now I have to choose between in Ithaca and Eugene Lang. If ELC had given me a crappy financial aid package, I knew I'd be 100% going to Ithaca. But now I'm not sure. I mean, living in the city is more expensive than living in upstate New York...soooo...I guess that lowers ELC on the scale a little bit...buuuuut....the city has Broadway. And shitloads of other theatre/art stuff/people/places.

GUYS--WHAT DO I DO?!?!

I'm going to consult Paul, and possibly Jamie/Alan/other theatrical adult within reach and make them make a decision for me, because I'm honestly torn. I mean, I really love Ithaca...buuuut...ELC is in the CITY guys, and they gave me great financial aid...UUUGGHHHHH.

It was funny at first, because I looked at the packet they sent me and said, "Oh, my god..." my mother comes and looks over my shoulder and is all like, "Shit....shit....shit..." which is funny, because that's not exactly a typical reaction to a $25,000, yearly scholarship. But now it's not really funny anymore. At all.

Current mood: AHHH?!.

Read 1 Note -Make Notes

27th March, 2007. 4:47 pm.

So, Kian came up to me and interrupted my conversation with Paul this afternoon...

Kian: You know, there might be a chance you'll be my wife someday.
Me: Excuse me?
Kian: With all those plays you'll be writing and publishing, you'll probably be a millionaire...and I'll be the first one to call you [cheesey smile.]
Me: Suuuurrrre.

In other news, Virginia took me out to an early lunch this morning over at the Alley. We talked about Italy and London and scripts and gossipy college kids. Then we went our separate ways--I to the high school for A.P. English, and Virginia to the elementary school to substitute teach. It was really nice to talk with her...it's been such a long time since I've actually had a chance to sit down with her and have a face-to-face conversation. I really miss being able to hang out with my college friends :(

 

Make Notes

14th March, 2007. 12:51 am.

I can't believe I finished it. I actually finished it.

12 fricking pages. And total disregard for Pre-Calc homework. That must be worth something.

I haven't started the Beloved paper yet. I don't know if I'm going to. I'm seriously debating writing it tomorrow during free period. I probably could do it if I picked out some quotes right now to focus on. She said it only needed to be about two pages, right? I could do that in 40 minutes. ...probably.  I say 40, because I should probably attempt the Pre-Calc stuff. I have this funny feeling Demers is going to take a chainsaw to my limbs if I don't start doing something in his class. I pretty much put it at the VERY bottom of my priorities list because I hate it so much. Math in general. Usually.

He caught me reading in class today, but let me keep reading because he's just THAT awesome. I am so not worthy. I feel guilty that I have totally taken advantage of his respect for me. I used to be a good, hard-working math student. I'm not really anymore, but he still treats me like one. And I don't deserve that.

Anyway, as far as the Beloved essay is concerned, I just don't know if I can switch gears at this point. And, even if I could, I have serious doubts about my ability to form coherent sentences in essay format this late at night/early in the morning.

My neck hurts from staying the same position for the 5 hours I spent writing this monster.

Make Notes

12th March, 2007. 10:59 pm.

Kalee: if anyone, you'll appreciate this:
(And, no, unfortunately I can't take credit for writing it...)

"
  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
  10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians. "

Read 4 Notes -Make Notes

5th March, 2007. 9:22 pm.

After listening to a C2C show about "Frank's Box" I heard about this freeware "EVPmaker" online. Downloaded it. I must say, at the very least, it is an entertaining program. It takes .wav files and chops them up and mixes around the fragments, allowing you to record to new file and possibly pick up verbal messages from spirits that use the sound data to form words/sentences.

I wanted to fully test this baby out, so I decided to contact Anna Nicole Smith. Why? Because she's the most recently deceased celebrity I could think of. I, in no way, shape, or form, am a fan of the late Miss Smith. In fact, I only know her through advertisements and brief news clips on TV Guide Channel. But there were some unanswered questions I asked that would help me fully prove the validity of this program.

Therefore, I asked her "Where did you really want to be buried?" And, more importantly, "HOW did you die, exactly?"

The recordings, though it was difficult to make anything out at first, left me with a quite creepy response.

To the first question, the voice responds (though, admittedly, in a choppy manner) "At mother's"
To the second question, I heard (distinctly) "I took pills..." and, later on in the recording, "I bought them." (Which is a little redundant, but, hey--I asked and she responded. I didn't stop recording right away, so maybe she was prolonging her response. )

At  any rate, if the media announces that the cause of her death was overdosing on medication/drugs, we'll know that there's method to this EVPmaker madness.  Thus, I am writing this journal entry--that way, if that truly is the answer to this question, I'm not going to sound crazy when I say, "I totally knew that! I sooo talked to Anna Nicole Smith about this already! Duh!"

Well...I probably sound crazy either way...oh well.

Read 2 Notes -Make Notes

27th February, 2007. 1:15 pm.

AHHHHHHHHHHH

I MADE IT INTO ITAHACA I MADE IT INTO ITHACA I MADE IT INTO ITHACA

I MADE IT INTO THE BA DRAMA PROGRAM I'M IN THE DRAMA PROGRAM I MADE IT INTO THEIR FLIPPING IMPOSSIBLE TO GET INTO DRAMA PROGRAM!!!!

WITH A FLIPPING $16,000 SCHOLARSHIP OMYGODOHMYGOD!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Read 1 Note -Make Notes

23rd February, 2007. 7:08 pm.

Oh, and also--I'm not digging "Apocalypse Now"...I'm not really into war-films. This is, arguably, *not* a "war film"...but, in my opinion, it's close enough. They're in Vietnam, pointlessly killing people...and though there's an allegory and it has messages and stuff...I just don't find all that violence entertaining. Not to mention the irritating narration where he says either, "fuck," "shit," "damn," "asshole," etc. every other word. I'm not against profanity, really...but dialogue that consists mostly of profanity is just stupid. Sure, it may be part of Willard's character development--but there's a certain point where it stops sounding like a "tough soldier in 'Nam" and starts sounding like "A  director/screenwriter who is trying too hard to sound like a tough soldier in 'Nam."

ANYWAY...

The only thing keeping me watching at this point is the fact that I find Martin Sheen (the much *younger* Martin Sheen) oddly attractive. Actually, it's not that odd I guess...I always thought Charlie Sheen was kind of good-looking. Not that that says anything about their personalities or acting ability. I just think they're kind of hot.

Okay. That is all.

Make Notes

Back A Page